I came to the epiphany yesterday that it is only a person who is in a tremendous amount of pain that can inflict that pain on another. And whilst I don’t have anything I really want to atone for – there’s still people I need to forgive. Because if I do not do that, I will continue to suffer long after they’ve gone from my life.
I had it all planned out. I really did.
And then everything blew up in my face.
Not once. Not twice, but time and time and time again.
I’m awake in places I haven’t been awake in a long time. I’m alive in places where I’ve been dead for a long time.
“You’re missing it,” he said to me.
“Missing what?” I asked.
“The journey,” he said. “You’re missing it.”
Zhejiang Province is an industrial area populated with factories, businesses and businesspeople that emit copious amounts of smoke. You simply cannot run from the grey fog. Clear skies are rare. Given the poor air quality, I still can’t wrap my head around the number of smokers around here. And they smoke wherever they like. But that’s another story for another day. Anyhow, I’m not sure if this is the right town for me. There just isn’t enough heart or soul to keep me happy – even though materially I lack nothing.
Unlike Saturn Returns – which most people fear, dread and hate – Jupiter’s transits are usually welcomed like Santa Claus coming down the chimney with a whole heap of presents. Looking back now – I realise that the last time Jupiter entered Sagittarius was after my nodal return. And now, Jupiter is re-entering Sagittarius after my Saturn Return.
A lot has changed since we last saw the Fool: a brave yet somewhat naive individual jumping off a cliff with blind faith, courage and nothing but a small knapsack full of dreams. He’s lived through the Fool’s Journey and the many different experiences that have changed and shaped both him and his worldview. In some ways, he knows better now. In other ways, he’s still the same – brave, bold and willing to take the leap into the unknown.