Twinn Swan

The Gospels and rabbinical writings offer a window into the world of marriage and divorce in Jesus’ time. This window, while tremendously valuable, is heavily obscured by the thick bars of a predominantly male perspective. While the Gospels and rabbinical writings offer a glimpse into Jewish marriage law, they tell the story primarily from a male perspective. These sources, which were written by men, focused mainly on legal interpretations, leaving the experiences and interests of women largely in the shadows.

To gain a more holistic understanding, we must acknowledge the very real presence of a silent history and explore creative ways to uncover and unearth the voices of women that are forever lost to history. Literacy rates for women in Jesus’ time were significantly lower than for men. This means their perspectives and experiences were less likely to be directly recorded.

The concept of divorce in Jesus’ era presents a fascinating intersection of religious law, broader social norms and evolving interpretations. While Jewish law allowed husbands to initiate divorce, the specific grounds for doing so were a point of contention among rabbis.

And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.

Matthew 19:9

Infidelity

While Jesus’ reference to adultery (Matthew 19:9) might suggest infidelity as grounds for divorce, this interpretation has been debated. Some believe that he condemned all remarriage after divorce, even if infidelity was the cause. Others propose he focused on the intent behind the divorce. If the goal is to remarry, even after infidelity, it could be considered adultery.

Jesus’ condemnation of divorce might have been a way to discourage men from using infidelity as a convenient excuse to get out of unwanted marriages. He may have wanted to encourage couples to work through their challenges within the Jewish marriage structure; a system which was considerably more conservative than the Roman law of the time.

Everyone who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery, and he who marries a woman divorced from her husband commits adultery.

Luke 16:18

Jesus’ overall emphasis on forgiveness and reconciliation suggests a preference for couples working through marital challenges. Discouraging infidelity might have been a way to dissuade men from viewing it as an easy escape route. Perhaps it was to prompt them to address the root causes of marital unhappiness instead of taking ‘the easy way out’.

By highlighting the severe consequences and repercussions of infidelity, Jesus might have been urging couples to prioritise reconciliation and rebuilding trust before resorting to divorce. This aligns with his message of forgiveness and working through conflict. Exploring the possibility of Jesus discouraging infidelity as ‘a convenient exit’ for men sheds light on the potential social implications of his teachings.

It emphasises the importance of reconciliation over immediate dissolution and suggests a concern for the well-being of both spouses within the existing marriage structure. This interpretation, however, needs to be balanced with the recognition of the limitations placed on women’s choices at the time.

The condemnation of infidelity is not just due to its immediate consequences, but because it could unravel the entire social fabric. One man and woman’s infidelity might lead to another’s, creating a domino effect of broken marriages, social instability and a decline in moral values.

By condemning it, Jesus might have been advocating for a culture of marital commitment as the bedrock of a strong society.