Twinn Swan

Optimism–or positive thinking–allows us to daydream of the fortune that we will, indeed, reap if all goes well. Are you absolutely convinced that what you are about to do is a good opportunity? Or is your mind filled with doubts? Either way, making a decision is what will free you from the confusion taking place in your mind.

Taking a risk doesn’t mean that you have nothing to lose. If there is an opportunity present, YOU, and only you, will have to decide if you are going to take it. Only those who sincerely believe that a good outcome awaits them will be able to dream of such a moment or opportunity. It is only they that will dare to seize it.

Others, however, will criticise regardless. They will find something negative to say and they will gladly say it to your face or behind your back. Both are equally bad.

A few years back, I had a friend who constantly criticised me. I know other people like that, too. If you give them a gift, they will even criticise the gift you’ve given them. They will analyse and overanalyse till the cows come home but they will not make a decision or stop criticising you. In the end, I was unable to bear being constantly criticised in spite of all my efforts. In the end, I made the decision to walk away.

Negative thinking is not the same as constructive criticism. Negative thinking is ungracious. It repels people who are positive and who are seeking the light in lieu of the darkness. The time came when I realised that I had no choice but to take care of myself. I had more important matters that needed attending to. I wanted to focus on what I did have. I wanted to focus on making the most out of the opportunities that life had presented to me.

It is positive thinking and gratefulness that allows us to open ourselves and align naturally with more of what we want. Criticising people who have provided you with something of value–or something someone else may value–will inevitably push that person away from you. There is nothing wrong with providing a person with feedback. There is, however, something seriously wrong when we verbally attack or abuse another human being. We must find our gentleness and our tenderness by going within. We must learn to stop criticising and start embracing.

If you’ve gotten stuck or trapped in negative thinking, ask yourself–are you living in a pond, a river or out in the ocean? Hypercriticism is a trait that I tend to associate with small-mindedness. There came a point in my life when I realised that happiness cannot possibly lay–or be found–in a relationship with another human being. When a serious, a close or even a long-standing relationship ends, there is absolutely no need to feel miserable or sad. You can let the relationship go. There is no need to stay committed to a person or a situation that you are unhappy with or that brings mental anguish into your life.

Releasing toxic relationships is necessary if we actually want to start afresh. If we want to progress in life, a positive mindset is essential. We cannot allow ourselves to be surrounded by people who limit us with their limiting beliefs and who constantly criticise all our efforts. Sometimes, in our quest to be generous and do our best for those around us, we end up sharing our true selves with people who do not value us or what we are providing.

If we allow ourselves to stay in toxic relationships, we are unable to make the changes necessary to transform our lives for the better. We stand in the world as but a drop in a vast ocean of existence. Who can ever control another person? Isn’t that what criticism ultimately is? An attempt to control someone else? The only way to keep from drowning is to ride along with the current. Let the critic go. You don’t deserve to be endlessly criticised.

Minimalism is a good way to ensure that we don’t allow negativity to unnecessarily fill our lives. If you clutter your life with people who do not appreciate you, ask yourself: do they own you? Possessiveness and jealousy is usually on the agenda of the person who refuses to let you go.

By letting go of objects, people and energetic patterns that we do not need, we can help others. That person is now free.