For sometime now, there’s been a gentle voice inside me that’s been urging me on to go forth on my venture wholeheartedly. I heard it. Believe me, I did. But like many people, I was caught up in a life that didn’t fully fulfil me. It wasn’t good enough to stay or bad enough to leave. And then crisis came down on me. Not once, not twice, but over and over again. It emptied out my life and burnt everything to the ground.
Mr Ten of Wands has come a long long way from where he first started. When he first began, he had only a burning desire. A gift from the element of fire. He knew that there was something he wanted to do. And unlike many others, who are afraid to go after what their heart’s desire, Mr. Wands went forth. He had courage. He had ambition. And above everything, he had a burning desire.
“Some storms come to test you,” my best friend says. “Other storms show up to clear your path.”
The table was set up to symbolically recreate the ten plagues and the circumstances that led to the Exodus of the Israelites from Egypt. Big transitions in life are never smooth. The haggadah (telling in Hebrew) that was laid out on the table explained the Exodus story and the included rituals like: the blessings over the four cups of wine, the custom of washing one’s hands, and an explanation for the various traditional items; in particular the bitter herbs and other symbolic foods.
I came to the epiphany yesterday that it is only a person who is in a tremendous amount of pain that can inflict that pain on another. And whilst I don’t have anything I really want to atone for – there’s still people I need to forgive. Because if I do not do that, I will continue to suffer long after they’ve gone from my life.
I had it all planned out. I really did.
And then everything blew up in my face.
Not once. Not twice, but time and time and time again.
I am not afraid. I make decisions that no one else would ever dare make and I stand by them. Some think me foolish, others think me brave. Truth is – I don’t care what others think. I will not live my life by someone else’s rules. I will not live my life playing someone else’s game.