“You’re missing it,” he said to me.
“Missing what?” I asked.
“The journey,” he said. “You’re missing it.”
I can still remember those words, uttered so poignantly some five years ago. At the time, I understood what he meant – but I had no idea what it meant to actually live it out. I was too caught up in my irrational fear and justified anger to enjoy ‘the journey’. But that was then, and this is now.
It’s different this time. I’m different this time.
I returned to the US after 5 years in a very similar situation to what brought me to the US five years ago.
Everything had shot to shit and I had no choice but to pack everything up and get the hell out. Back then, I blamed myself for the way things turned out. Today I realise that there were so many things that were out of my hands and that there was nothing I really could have done about it. Things break down because they were never built to last in the first place.
Everything I built had come crashing down and returned my life to ground zero. And who in the world wants to be at ground zero? Nobody would willingly to choose that. That’s why life forces you out. Pushes you out. Gives you no choice in the matter.
I sustained losses on my way out the first time around and it was no different this time. Something that was meant to bring in gains instead brought in heavy losses. Something that was meant to succeed, failed miserably. This time I cut my losses and got out before things got even further out of hand.
Looking back, I realise now that most people want the realisation of their goals, but not the journey that will bring them there.
In Paulo Coelho’s The Alchemist, he writes, “And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.”
Having lived my life, I know this to be true. But still, I’m curious and impatient so I can’t help but wonder what the universe has in store for me.
I started this journey some ten years ago. It’s time to finish what I started. And this time around, I won’t miss the journey.