Why do we find it so difficult to cut people out of our life when we KNOW they’re bad for us? In the case of toxic relationships – where there is abuse, bullying and violence – the answer is obvious, clear and there for everyone to see. But even then there may be reasons, justifications and excuses… People cling onto the ‘hope’ that things will change one day, even though it’s unlikely that they ever will. And even in the event that things do ‘change’, people are people and I believe there’s always the risk of relapse.
In other less dangerous situations, it may not be as obvious. Nothing seriously ‘bad’ has happened, but… things are simply not working. And whilst these situations will not lead to the kind of destruction that toxic relationships can bring about – these are still not relationships you should be investing in.
And that’s where the infamous Suit of Swords comes in to save the day. I’ve always believed that the Suit of Swords is at its best when we’re using it to cut out people and circumstances that do not add value to our life so that we can focus on the things that do.
We all hold the power of Ace of Swords in our hands. We have the power to cut people out of our lives if we feel that they harm us or are not bringing value to our lives. These decisions are not always easy or painless – but we must make them if we want to create the lives we truly desire.
And here are a list of people who just need to go.
1. The Unworthy
Some people are just not worth it. They have no vision, no plan, no goals, no clue. They’re just living their lives day by day distracting themselves with whatever comes along. And you just happened to be the thing that came along while they were looking for the next time-filler. If you invest in someone like that, believe me when I say that no good will come out of this. No matter how hard you try, you will never be able to build anything together. Life will be a series of chasing one distraction after another.
2. The Lightweights
Some people just don’t carry their weight. Sometimes it’s because they are unable to – and sometimes it’s because they’re transferring their own responsibilities onto you. I do understand that everyone can fall on hard times and need help now and then. But some people just make a habit out of it. How many times are you going to bail someone out of their problems? How many times are you going to clean up after someone who won’t learn to do it for themselves? How many times are you going to pick up the pieces of someone else’s broken life and put it together hoping that one day they’ll magically learn to do it on their own?
3. The Passive
Some people are just waaaay to passive. They expect you to make all the decisions while they tag on for the ride. Ask this person to give their own ideas or bring something to the table and you’ll get nada. These kinds of people are great if you’re the type of person who likes being in charge. But one day, when you’re down, and you need someone to pick you up – don’t you dare count on this person to be there. In fact, they’ll be wondering why it’s not business as usual.
4. The Work in Progress
Some people just don’t match up. They’re not bad people per se, but they’re simply not at the same level as you. Yes – you see the potential in them and know that they’ll get there eventually, but they’re not at your level now and who knows when they’ll ever be? You’re always five steps ahead of this person and they’re always playing catch up. Leave them behind and go do your own thing. If they’re a good person, they’ll get it.
5. The Insecure
I’ve noticed a trend. Insecure people tend to have a need to dominate and control others. It’s how they make up for their perceived shortcomings. They have a vested interest in keeping more talented people beneath them because it makes them feel powerful. They have a need to constantly be centre of attention and put themselves first. But no matter what you give them or what you do – it’s never good enough. People who don’t feel they’re good enough will never bring anything good enough to the table. Feel free to cut them out of your life.
6. The Fair-Weather Friends
Hey – who doesn’t love a good laugh? I know I do. But life comes with its inevitable hard times. If your friends are nowhere to be found when the rain comes down – I suggest you take off and find new friends.
For some, these decisions are easy to make. The more empathetic amongst us may find it difficult to sever ties with someone that we care about. But showing compassion to others also includes yourself. People who love you want to see you happy. Love doesn’t hurt. Pain does. And when someone causes you pain (or discomfort) – they need to go.
Unlike other cards in the Suit of Swords, I love the Ace of Wands. It’s all about having the mental clarity to make smart decisions about what (and who) stays, and what (and who) goes.
Cut out the things that do not add value, so that you can make room for the things that do. Till next time – sweet dreams.