I turn my back on the past. I will not look back. I will take with me only the wisdom that has come from the tough lessons of the past three decades. I have loved. I have lost. I have been hurt. I am even old enough to have regrets.
I am like the lotus that grows in the mud. But when I bloom, I bloom unstained. I respect the mud in which I grew, for without it my beauty means nothing. As my Saturn Return draws to a close, I end one cycle so that I can begin another.
No more nightmares will haunt me. I will not be fooled by wolves that show up disguised in sheep’s clothing. I will not waste my time on the unworthy. I know better now. There are many charlatans in this world. They only take but never give. They soften your heart with sweet words they do not mean and make promises they cannot keep. With the ruthlessness of the Suit of Swords, I cut them out of my life. I have never regretted using the sword to protect myself.
In between life’s various struggles, I also experienced profound happiness. I made some true friends along the way. Some of those friendships survived the tests of time and distance. I miss them sometimes. But I know better than to indulge myself in the nostalgia of happiness that is long gone. The past is over. Only the present and future remain.
Despite all that has happened, I know that there is a part of me that no one can touch. For it is not theirs to have or mine to keep. It existed well before I was born and will continue to exist long after.
I call her the Wanderer. She resides in every single one of us. She knows no fear for she has faith. She needs no possessions to feel safe. She enters the Wildwood with courage and curiosity. She loves life. She begins each day with a sense of adventure. She doesn’t need anyone to take the plunge with her – for this journey is hers and hers alone.
She holds her hands out, unafraid to jump. She knows that when she takes the plunge she’ll fly. She trusts her heart for her mind will not allow her to let go. She takes a deep breath. She raises one foot and slowly releases the other. She goes forth – as it was intended – to the place of no return.
And so it begins again.